English Translated Lyrics for “Pending Machine” by Official Hige Dandism

Official Hige Dandism is one of the most popular pop/rock band in today’s Japan. “Hige” means “a mustache”, and the reason of the quirky band name is said that they want to create ever green songs which can be loved and listened to for really long time like until they are really getting old with mustache. If you’re interested in today’s major J-pop scene, I highly recommend this group (my favorites are “Pretender“, “I LOVE“, “Universe“). Their lyrics and music are so much carefully thought that each songs has a great quality.

The reason why I quoted this band is because their latest album “Editorial” has a really good song which criticize the relationships of us and our smartphone. The title is “Pending Machine”. I greatly agree with this lyrics, and I love this song so much that I’d like to translate it and I’d like to introduce the song to the world(since this song seems to be a kind of B-side song in the album, and there seems no official translation so far).

誰かの憂いを肩代わり出来るほど タフガイじゃない 耐えられない
I’m not a strong guy enough to take over somebody’s anxiety. I can’t bear with it.
耳からも目からも 飛び込む有象無象はもう知らないでいよう 病まないためにも
So let’s shut out them from ears and eyes not to get sick.

Wi-Fi環境がないどこかへ行きたい 熱くなったこの額 冷ますタイムを下さい
I want to go somewhere with no Wi-Fi environment. Please give me a time to cool down my overheated brain.
返答に困窮するメッセージやお誘い 強いられる和気藹々
Messages or invitations that seems really difficult to answer. Forceful harmonious atmosphere.
おまけに暗いニュースだなんて冗談じゃない
And they never get any negative news.

とは言え社会で 多様化した現代で それなりに上手く生きたいのにwhy?
But, in this todays society, diversified modern age, I just want to live somehow well but why?
型落ちの前頭葉で 不具合もなく笑みを 保てないanymore
With my outdated frontal lobe, I can’t keep my smile without a glitch anymore.

はい。分かったからもう黙って 疲れてるから休まして
Okay. I got it so please shut your mouth. I’m tired so please give me a break.
申し訳ないけど待って 迷惑はお互い様だって
I’m sorry but please just wait. We make the same nuisance anyway.
言ってやりたいのになんで? 立場と見栄に躊躇って
I just want to say that but why? My position or ideal myself wouldn’t allow me to do.
外付けの愛想が出しゃばって 葬られた叫び声
My external friendly character meddles, and the voice is buried.

Wi-Fi環境がないどこかへ行きたい プライベートの誇り合い
I just want to go somewhere doesn’t have Wi-Fi. Everyone is showing off their private life
マウンティングの泥試合
The game of meaningless condescending
そんなんで競い合って一体何がしたい?
What the hell do you want to do through such a stupid game
鬼ごっこ ドッジボール 何に例えても常識の範疇を超えてやしない?
Tags, Dodgeball, any games for example, would say it’s beyond the rules

見てらんないから黙って 相手はCPじゃなくて
I can’t see it anymore so please shut up. I’m not talking to Computer.
哺乳類人間様だって 説教できたならわけないね
But the great human beings of mammals. If I could scold like that.
俺にそんな権利なくて 少なくはない前科があって
Maybe I don’t own the right to scold somebody. It’s because I have some criminal records of something stupid.
帰すべき責めは永遠に残って 鳴り止まない叫び声
I’m taking a blame for something for good. The sound of crying would never stop.

誰かの憂いを肩代わりできるほど 健康じゃない
I’m not healthy enough to take over somebody’s depressed feeling.
打ち勝てない ならばそう離れていよう
I can’t overcome. Then, let’s stay away.
流行りもライフハックも もう知らないでいよう 病まないためにも
Let’s ignore every trends or life-hacks not to get mentally ill.

はい。分かったからもう黙って 疲れてるから休まして
Okay. I got it so please shut your mouth. I’m tired so please give me a break.
申し訳ないけど待って 迷惑はお互い様だって
I’m sorry but please just wait. We make the same nuisance anyway.
言わないけど通知切って あわよくば電源を落として
I never tell you but I’ll turn off the notification. Or I would turn off it.
無理やりに暇を作り出して 元気になるまでまたね
Somehow make a space in your life. And see you again when you’ll get fine again.

Thank you very much for reading my lazy translation. If I could share my feelings for this song with you, that would be great. When you feel sick for getting along with your smartphone, please listen to this song, and enjoy your actual life.

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