Hello everyone. Sometimes we find it hard to face ourselves. Of course we somehow all agree that we should think by ourselves, decide what we think we want to do, but… Do you?
Sometimes I feel myself that I’m a person who cannot actually do nothing by my thinking or just my self motivation. Rather I can work really hard for somebody, or somebody’s expectation to me. I cannot work 100% for myself, but I can work 120% for somebody I do care. That’s the thing I’m pondering this autumn long night.
The last time I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, the excuse I said was “because I have things to do that I want to do during my single”. However, now I realized that there were no such things that I cannot do during time when I’m in relationship. That was just an excuse.
Now, I’m kinda falling in love with a woman. I’ve known her for 10 years. She is really beautiful and I really like the moment I spend with her. Even though, we sometimes quarrel about tiny problems, but now I rather think because of her, I can think really seriously and I can face myself seriously.
Actually, there are many obstacles to realize this love. But, one of my precious friend advised me that I should be honest and have a lot of communication with her even I and she got injured with the quarrel or arguing. “You need to be yourself, and tell your honest feeling to her. Communication sometimes seems a bit hard for you though, that is the best way to realize yourself and your love even if the love couldn’t be realized, the process must be meaningful to your life, definitely, he said.
I’m becoming 29 this year, and I really want to face myself. But, people can’t face yourself that easily. Sometimes, you need a mirror. The mirror which reflects true you. Now, I think the girl must be a beautifully polished mirror. Now, I’m looking at the mirror, thinking my future and reality.