A New Year’s “Jealousy”

So, I am currently spending my winter vacation from December 26th to January 17th. Being a high school teacher in Japan is said to be really busy (especially junior high teachers. They are said to be the busiest around the world). However, the beauty of being a teacher is that you have certain amount of paid vacation term in summer and winter season. Still somebody can complain that Japanese teachers are busy. Maybe it depends on which school you are working at.

The long time no see amount of time makes people think of many bullshit things that never attracts you to think of before or after the vacation. Since you have plenty of time and power to think about tiny things, you can really think or getting depressed or angry easily compared to the usual work days. However, I became 28 and I have been feeling like I’m dealing with it these years. Then, I found a twitter account.

The Twitter account by LEMON(檸檬)

I know people’s taste or understanding is completely different and I have no idea what you would think about the twitter account. But to me, When I encountered this account, I was made into really happy and frustrated and jealous about the account because the view of the world of this twitter is almost, very almost the same to my imaginary ideal twitter account!

His every picture or tweet on the page seems almost perfect. Every single post or picture desperately tells me those tweets or pictures are created with deep thoughts and delicate technique of sense. Actually, the first time I accidentally found this account was almost a year ago. I was surprised that the quality of the account and I thought that the person who can do this is a college student, and he was younger than my age. Then, I felt a slight feeling of jealous at that time, so I had never seen from that time.

However, about 2 or 3 days before today, I accidentally found him on the twitter again. Then I found the pinned tweet.

In short, it says that his first novel will be published on January 20th, 2021, then I got huge goosebumps. OMG. This LEMON man has become a real writer. I thought he was a kind of young person who has a really good taste. But now, he became a real writer. I thought like, I tried to cerebrate him but to be honest, I was totally knocked down. I know the pictures or tweets are somehow directed by his effort, but still, he is too great.

The feeling of me was actually very mixed. A happy sad. Celebration and jealous. The reaction of one of my friend on the phone was “You must be really bored”.

Author: Tomoharu Watanabe

Hi there. I'm 28 years old Japanese guy who currently live in northern part of Japan; Hokkaido, and a high school English teacher. Love reading books and watching movies and especially traveling around the world. Playing the guitar and kendo (Japanese traditional martial arts) is also my pastime.

One thought on “A New Year’s “Jealousy””

  1. When you get so busy that you don’t even have time to realize how much time is passing, it must be difficult when you finally stop and it all catches up to you. I don’t think you’re just bored… bored people watch TV, buy lottery tickets, browse shopping websites, or get drunk. There’s a fire in you wanting to burn.
    But try not to compare yourself to others- there’s nothing that person did that you can’t do too. Just focus on yourself and take it day by day. Let that jealousy and fire motivate you to keep going and find time for what you want to do.
    I’m rooting for you and I know you can do it! Even if your first published book comes out next year or 20 years from now, that will be YOUR book and it will be amazing!! I can’t wait to read it!


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